Pinning The Blame
by Kai3
Summary: They destroy a hotel, get in an argument, break Hakkai's jaw, and then crash hakuryuu?! Not to mention pesky insects. Oh the perils of Saiyuki!


Notes: Wow, I sure do beat up the guys in this one! It's kinda weird but I like it, it's a charming story, heehee. I know Goyjo & Sanzo kinda come off as major assholes in this one but hey, that's why we love em right? (sorry bout typos, didn't have the energy to proof this one)

_Words in italics indicate a flashback, no da!_

Disclaimer: Saiyuki's not mine…there that was easy, hmm, -too- easy oO;

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Pinning The Blame

The jeep was unusually quiet. All that could be heard was the sparratic grinding of gravel against the tires and the occasional zoom of a telephone pole or some kind of large roadside plant that they passed by. The sun baked down, on the jeep and it's passengers, the only thing keeping it from burning holes of deadly UV into it's occupants' skin was the constant breeze of hot desert air blowing up and over the windshield. 

If only things weren't so hot under the collar inside the automobile. Genjou Sanzo, the worldly monk sat in the passengers seat, his arms crossed over his chest and his usual expression plastered across his serious face like a marble statue except this statue was currently biting it's bottom lip. Next to him, in the driver's side, Cho Hakkai seemed almost unscathed from the previous event and a gentle smile lit up his face as he twiddled his thumbs on the steering wheel, although it did seem weaker than usual. Behind Hakkai in the backseat, Goyjo's bottom lip stuck out about a mile and his brows were furrowed as he glowered out of the window, his head resting on his hands. Next to him, Goku was busy trying to merge his body with the jeeps' while he kept himself as far away from the kappa as possible. His hand sent jets of air into his eyes while he tried to bat away a pestering fly that decided to hitch a ride on his nose and wouldn't give up. And above the group a certain angry energy seemed to jump back and forth between them like a bunch of conductors getting ready to spark. 

Goyjo cleared his throat. "Just so we're all clear here, it was not my fault that we got kicked out of that inn back there." He glowered at the other passengers as they slowly, almost menacingly turned their heads toward him.

"Bull shit, Goyjo!" Goku exploded, making the fly leave for a moment, only to buzz around his ears. "You were leaning on the couch! And the innkeeper specifically told us not to lean on the back of that couch." The young youkai pointed out, his hand swatting around his face.

"It was a cheap-ass couch!" Goyjo yelled back. Hakkai looked backwards at the red haired man through the sides of his eyes. "And if Sanzo wasn't such a prude!"

"I will kill you." Sanzo grunted threateningly. He turned around in his seat, fingering his gun. Goyjo rolled his eyes.

"I think we should head to the next village by the highway." Sanzo took a sip of his drink and set the cup back down on the table. "I don't want to risk any danger in the forests around these parts. I've heard a lot of bad things and frankly I'm not in the mood for any ass whooping." 

_"Okay, Sanzo." Goku agreed through a full mouth. He was positioned on the floor beside the monk, a dish of various tea- cakes and biscuits in front of him. Beneath the plate the Oriental rug was littered in crumbs of coconut and nougat and sprinkles._

_"That sounds good to me." Hakkai spoke, his eye looking wearily at the mess Goku was making. "Goku, try not to make a mess please."_

_"So it's settled then, we head west tomorrow morning." Sanzo stood up, getting ready to turn in for the night when a distinguishable grunt emerged from the couch behind Hakkai. "Goyjo." Sanzo acknowledged._

_"It's just funny that's all." The red head spoke. He sat on the too small couch, leaning his head backwards on a wooden support beam. He smirked. "How we always agree like little waiting 'yes-men' to the great Genjo Sanzo." Sanzo glowered._

_"Why do you always insist on disagreeing with everything we conclude?" Sanzo dared him to answer truthfully with his glare. _

_"Because maybe I don't like what we… or should I say YOU conclude to." Goyjo answered, leaning forward in his seat._

_"Now, now." Hakkai stepped forward an inch, too scared to be the one in the middle of the gap between the two arguing. _

_"Well how about I make you believe." Sanzo declared this statement and whipped out his exorcism gun and Goyjo found himself facing the deep dark barrel of the blonde's precious weapon. His eyebrows danced in skepticism. _

_"You wouldn't" dared the kappa. Goku sat on the floor, his eyes wide as he watched the spectacle unfold before him. _

_Instead of a legitimate human answer Sanzo took it as more of a challenge and he pushed his finger down on the trigger. Of course he didn't want to hurt the valuable youkai, so he smirked menacingly as the shot rang out with a deafening sound and a piece of wood from the beam just above Goyjo's head flung out of place and landed on the floor in front of him. Acting on instict, Goyjo backed his head up, pulling his weight towards the back of the couch._

_"Well that certainly was…" Hakkai began. _

_"ACK!" Goyjo yelled as the legs on the back of the couch snapped and the whole of it and himself toppled backwards into the support beam snapping it where Sanzo's bullet had hit. _

_"…close." Hakkai whimpered as a loud cracking noise ran through the inn and some dust fell out of the ceiling._

_"Uh oh." Goku exclaimed in time before he saw Sanzo and Hakkai running towards him, covering their heads with their hands. With a loud shifting of wood and aluminum the ceiling broke at the support beam sending a torrent of sawdust and household items from upstairs toppling to the floor like tephra. It was all very loud and very fast like an earthquake zooming through a fault line, and topped off with the screams of the inn's other occupants and the Sanzo-Ikkou's grunts and curses of frustration, not to mention Goyjo's unusually high-pitched scream. _

_"Ho-ly shit." Sanzo stood up, removing a large piece of cardboard that had landed on his back and dusting off his shoulders. Hakkai slowly came to his feet from beside him, some kind of clothing stuck in his hair and covered in dust as well. Goku was too far away to be hit by anything but his cakes defiantly weren't edible anymore. He stared forward, stunned at what happened, but not as stunned as Goyjo who was still whimpering. He was leaning against the bottom of what was left of the support beam and another plumbing pole from inside the roof had landed only millimeters away from his unspeakables. The whole upper floor was littered around him in one big disaster scene._

_"What in the name of all that is HOLY?!" The Sanzo party looked up from their marveling at what they had just accomplished. The innkeeper, a short mousy little bald man dressed in blue and green robes stood in the stairwell fuming red with a sour expression on his face._

"Well maybe if you hadn't pushed him." Hakkai offered gently to Goyjo, Sanzo was glaring at him furiously. Hakkai leaned over the seat and covered his mouth so the temperamental monk couldn't see what he was whispering to the red haired youkai. "I mean, you know how hot headed Sanzo can be when you question his authority." 

"Yeah, well, whoever it was thank you SO freaking much for ruining my dessert!" Goku huffed through his lips, simultaneously trying to blow the fly away, but it returned and started buzzing around his head. 

Sanzo grumbled for a few moments, fueling his fire before he slammed his fist down on the dashboard. Hakuryuu gave a little jolt at this but Sanzo paid no heed. "We are NOT going to talk about this ANYMORE, do you UNDERSTAND ME?!" he yelled in a low growl. Goyjo 'humphed' and Hakkai quickly turned back around, straightening up and keeping his eyes on the road ahead. Meanwhile Goku's hand continually batted at the air around him. 

"Damn, stupid, dirty, son of a…" Goku cursed, this slightly caught the attention of Sanzo making him turn in his seat. "That's it! I can't take it!" The ape screamed.

"No, Goku! Don't!" Sanzo spun around, wiggling the car a bit but he was too late, the young youkai was enraged with the pesky fly and could only think up one solution. 

"EXTENDING NYOIBOU!" The young youkai screamed grasping his Nyoi staff and extending it to where the fly was. Besides the fact, any person not riled enough to think they can stop a fly with an extending weapon knows that you'll miss and hit whatever is behind. Goku kept on truckin. "I GOT IT!"

"Dammit, Goku!" Sanzo yelled, pulling his arm away just in time as the Nyoi staff flew past him and hit Hakkai square in the jaw. 

"Ooo~ooh shit!" Goyjo yelled, witnessing everything. He and every other passenger, except for Hakkai gripped the sides of the jeep and held on while the car swerved noisily across the road, shooting gravel into the air and leaving bold skid-marks across the ground as Hakkai's almost unconscious form tried to regain control over the leaning car. 

Completely out of control, the jeep tipped onto the right side's tires sending Goyjo and Hakkai to the asphalt and Sanzo and Goku flying out of their seats and into the ditch just beyond the road. The jeep teetered a bit on the edge of the bumper before falling on it's top, completely upside down. 

"Ooouch." Hakkai wheedled through clenched teeth as he reached up gingerly to feel his rapidly swelling jaw muscles. He was laying on his side in the road and he peered behind him to see a very exhausted looking Hakuryuu. There was a metallic taste in his mouth which could only be one thing.

"Bloody hell!" Goyjo mumbled angrily as he felt the bleeding wound on his head. Sanzo was laying on his back next to him, trying to bring himself and his dignity up.

Goku looked around, his face level to the ground and half buried in roadside dust before he propped himself up with his arms and coughed out a series of germs and bacteria. "Bleh!" He spit into the brush beyond the ditch and looked over at the other guys.

They all looked like insignificant piles of flesh and bone simply tossed from one place to another. All of them trying to straighten up, cradling themselves as they dusted off their wounds, it almost made Goku smile. In fact he did smile, he even began to laugh.

"What are you chuckling at, ape?" Goyjo asked irritably when the sounds of Goku's laughter reached his ears. There were a few moments of silence as Goku's laughter died away and the other three shook their heads in confusion. 

"You know what guys." Goku smiled warmly at all of them. "I think it was that mean old innkeeper's fault." There was a few more moments left untouched until Goyjo and Hakkai agreed and started to chuckle along with Goku. Sanzo tried to look disapproving but deep inside he knew Goku was right. After all, it sure as all hell wasn't HIS fault.

Owari


End file.
